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| End of this weekend I will be going to east coast for soldier training from LA. Another training with duty when September comes around to Central America, and another one, on and on... I seems to be in this cycle that I can not break out of, it's not about repeated trainings or duties but it's my state of mind. I feel so used to getting shipped off to other states for certain amount of time training here and there. Always excited going to other places and always interested in new trainings that i'm going to do. but coming back home for few weeks to few months I spend the days like it's vacation when I'm not deployed or training. I really think that I deserve a nice few days off after training but that thought gets extended little more than I really intended. All that physical training and mission training I have done gets dusted on. I seem to lose my motivation, inspiration, and even competitiveness when I'm home... and when i'm just about to feel that I really need to get a hold of myself i'm packing my bags for yet another training. It's been like this since late 2007, still trying to figure out what must i do to break this chain. I know I feel alive when i'm training to be a soldier but just when I'm home, I feel empty. i must refill my tank of life with... with....87? 89? 91? ha! reminds me of the movie called The Hurt Locker (2008) | | |
| was wondering when the summer would kick the spring's ass out the way and it seems like that was just couple days ago. why am i up right now? i slept early and it's hot, i was going to change my blanket to thinner one in closet but i just got lazy so i took my shirt off but still it's hot. got few heat rashes from playing bball too long, face and lips are sunburned... i have to say that california sun has gotten harsh. it actually hurts and stings when i'm exposed to sunlight for prolonged period of time. it wasn't this bad in texas, even though it was very humid up the ass, it was very pleasing, i didn't have to constantly look for shade... | | |
| it's almost mid July, where is the summer? is it taking vacation? it should be scorching hot and i should be craving for some shaved ice andall but summer is taking it's sweet ass time... urgh.... maybe all the glacier in north pole melted and things are cooler this summer? who knows with this global warming on full throttle... that reminds me... 
this is THE himalayan mountain, AKA-everest mount. it's crazy how naked it is due to global warming. supergeeks are predicting by 2030 the himalayan glacier will be completely dried out... that's in 20YEARS!!!! i know i'll be able to climb the everest when that happens but there will be less room for penguins in north pole! wait... it's south pole.... no? it's south pole... right? i trust my memories... ^_^; anyway! i heart penguins ^_^ we need to find butt plugs for all the cows and cars in the world....ASAP...sigh.... | | |
| really now? it's been passed 2 years since last entry? amazing. yet here i am again.
i don't know what's so good about xanga but i always come back.
so much to say, so much things to dump out...
it's 6 in the morning right now... in search...
first of all, sleep first.
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